Tuesday, November 15, 2005

My Menopause Blog: Taking Ownership

Finally, the type of November day that crawls under my skin and shakes me to the core. Bleak is the word. Chilling, gray, somber, deathly are reasonable substitutes. I have no doubt that when I die, it will be in November.

I find November's seasonal transition the toughest to weather. It's the end of a pleasant relationship...the one I have with spring, summer and early fall. The parting from something I love to something that I find more challenging....winter.

And yet, winter can be so satisfying. My introverted side gets to fully exercise, tucked in and away. I own down filled duvets, coats and mitts, good boots, funky hats. I know many stunning trails and dogs who love to walk. I have a woodstove. So it's not winter per say. It is the transition to winter from a more colourful, higher energy state.

Much like menopause I guess. A transition.

Here's a wee bone that I would like to pick.

Notice that I did not use universal language, the royal 'we' and suggest that you too feel as I about November. Instead, I took ownership of my own feelings.

Currently, I could list a arms length of friends, who are giddy ...darn well busting with excitement about this month. They love every grey sky, soggy leaf, frost frozen plant.

I find these friends charming and yet slightly annoying. I'm attached to my grim reaper November attitude. Heaven forbid that my attitude adjust and I become more accepting of what is.

Here's how I handle them. I let them be cheerful. I don't try to convince them that my way, the dark and winding road, is the only sane approach to handling November. Secretly, deep down, I do hope that some of their 'come what may' vibe will help temper my doomed view. But I also stand firm in my negative perspective. I don't want to be cajoled out of my headspace. I'd rather find my way through, adjusting if I please, because a shift in my approach simply makes more sense to me.

I hate it when people tell me how I feel. Or when they incorrectly assume I feel as they do.

Unlike November, I pre-decided to take My Menopause ride with a sense of adventure and a bag full of curiosity. Humor too. Given My Menopause trip will last a stunning dozen years, give or take, I'm looking for a long, hardy laugh, the easiest passage and an interesting experience. I aspire to be the cover girl for Natural Menopause.

You may not feel the same way. And that's fine with me.

As my friend Pierre says, "Vive la difference!"

Sue Richards



Anonymous Pierre said...

Hi Sue,
I could say "vive la différence" about your feelings for November, but I won't, because I feel exactly as you. It's my worst month of the year. All those ski enthusiasts and other 'rugged' Canadians really p--- me off when they tell me I should embrace the great outdoors. Even more so on a day like today in Montreal, where it's been snowing for hours. I'll embrace the month of May thank you. Until then, let me deal with November my way. So there.

11/15/2005 03:23:00 PM  
Blogger Sue Richards said...


Yo Bro'!!! Down with November!!

Sista Sue

11/15/2005 03:59:00 PM  
Blogger Nemesis said...

Hi Sue,
I was browsing across blogs and came across yours. It is quite interesting. I like your views on menopause and many other things including breasts. Being a girl, I am quite sensitive about them and also how they are perceived. Strange as it is, it is a very vital part of being a woman.
I thought you might like to know about the Menopause section on this website - Remedyfind. Remedyfind is a non-commercial, unbiased, international site that allows patients to rate the effectiveness of different treatments they have used for specific health conditions – Menopause being one of them.

The Menopause section is located at -http://www.remedyfind.com/hc-Menopause.asp

The founder of this website, Brett, has had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since 1982 (actually two active bouts with it, the last starting in 1994 from which I am about 80% recovered). When he found himself housebound and with too little energy to do anything physical, the idea for this website was born. Once the CFS section was up and running, he decided to do the same with other health conditions. In two years now the site has grown to 19 conditions and has some 18,000 members and newsletter subscribers.

Obviously we are all different, and what works for one person won't necessarily work for another, but my hope is that certain trends might show themselves over time (and after hundreds or thousands of patient ratings). (As your friend said ‘Vive la difference!’) We'll have to see about that, but at least in the meantime I think it is helpful to hear other patient accounts of what has worked, or not worked, for them.

If you or any of the support group members have a few minutes to share treatment experiences by submitting ratings, it would be greatly appreciated. The larger the pool of treatment experiences we can build, the more helpful the site will be to all of us. If you think mentioning Remedyfind in one of your newsletters or adding us as a link on your site would be of interest to your readers – it would be wonderful too!

Many thanks,
Viji Ramanathan
PR/Communications Manager


+1 415 462 1980

11/16/2005 08:36:00 AM  
Blogger Sue Richards said...

Hi Viji,

I posted you on my Breast Views Blog.


11/16/2005 04:00:00 PM  

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