Saturday, December 10, 2005

My Menopause Blog: Dear Mrs. Santa

Dear Mrs. Santa Claus,

I am remiss. For year's I have been sending love letters to your jolly old husband, spewing all my best attributes and playing down the bad bits, and nary once did I consider the impact my behaviour would have on your feelings.

Please accept my heartfelt apology for being so insensitive to you. And allow me to assure you that there is nothing serious going on between me and your man.

It is true that your main squeeze does buy me gifts every year. Jewelry, lingerie, chocolates, exotic trips and once a brand new Arctic Cat snowmobile. But I swear, I have never, nor will I ever be caught kissing the man of your dreams. We have a respectful, vertical relationship.

I hope I'm not being too forward Merry, (may I call you by your first name ?), but I'd like to ask how your menopause is going? Given your 'brick' shape, thin hair, and obvious age, (really you don't look a day over 55) I'm assuming that you've had more than a few turns on the mood swing and a hot flash or two. I'm sure living at the North Pole helps, but it must be a fine line between overheating and frost bite. Anyway, if you have any tips you'd like to share, please tuck them in the old boys sleigh and have him drop them off on his way by.

And since I'm fessing up to the written correspondence I've sent, under your very nose, to your loving hubby over the last several decades, I am now being more open about our relationship...er...arrangement..er..thing. My letter to Mr Ho Ho Ho himself, although under a pseudo name, appears on my other blog.

I appreciate having the opportunity to write you Merry. I know that even though you get little acknowledgement for the magic of Christmas, you play an integral, equal role in the unfolding of the season. Don't be afraid to stand up and be noticed girlfriend. All the little girls of the world need to know you're there.

Best,

Sue Richards

Tag:

9 Comments:

Blogger Courtney said...

Nice letter.
Michele sent me.

12/10/2005 10:30:00 AM  
Blogger Trinity13 said...

What a great idea...very cute!

12/10/2005 10:36:00 AM  
Anonymous colleen said...

Hi Sue, I noticed you as a new name at michele's and wanted to see what you were up to. I don't know how you can manage more than one blog. I love this twist on the Dear Santa letter.

12/10/2005 10:41:00 AM  
Blogger rashbre said...

I must also write, but mine will be to the main man. Now to checkout your other blog too!

Here via Michele's.

12/10/2005 10:49:00 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

A great letter. Most enjoyable.

12/10/2005 12:03:00 PM  
Blogger Carmi said...

Something tells me Mrs. C gets lots of letters like this every year. But few are as well written, or as smile-inducingly funny.

Visiting from Michele's today. It's always a pleasure.

12/10/2005 12:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Janer said...

Who the heck is Michele? And what lovely thing did you do for her to earn a link on her site? I've seen her name all over this and calendar girl blog but have seen no link. She seems to be good people as are all those sent via her reccomendation.

Meanwhile, great alt take, as always Sue.
You brighten my days!

12/10/2005 04:16:00 PM  
Blogger Sue Richards said...

Janer,

I'm sorry to so rudely leave readers like you in the dark. We're all playing a game of tag, set up by www.micheleagnew.com.

Sort of a meet and greet without face time.

My woodstoves in. You and meh meh should venture west soon.

Sue

12/10/2005 06:00:00 PM  
Blogger dena said...

Oh gosh! I just love your letter to Mrs. Santa. I think a letter like that was way past due.

visiting from michele's.

12/11/2005 01:22:00 PM  

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