My Menopause Blog: Dear Mrs. Santa

Dear Mrs. Santa Claus,

I am remiss. For year's I have been sending love letters to your jolly old husband, spewing all my best attributes and playing down the bad bits, and nary once did I consider the impact my behaviour would have on your feelings.

Please accept my heartfelt apology for being so insensitive to you. And allow me to assure you that there is nothing serious going on between me and your man.

It is true that your main squeeze does buy me gifts every year. Jewelry, lingerie, chocolates, exotic trips and once a brand new Arctic Cat snowmobile. But I swear, I have never, nor will I ever be caught kissing the man of your dreams. We have a respectful, vertical relationship.

I hope I'm not being too forward Merry, (may I call you by your first name ?), but I'd like to ask how your menopause is going? Given your 'brick' shape, thin hair, and obvious age, (really you don't look a day over 55) I'm assuming that you've had more than a few turns on the mood swing and a hot flash or two. I'm sure living at the North Pole helps, but it must be a fine line between overheating and frost bite. Anyway, if you have any tips you'd like to share, please tuck them in the old boys sleigh and have him drop them off on his way by.

And since I'm fessing up to the written correspondence I've sent, under your very nose, to your loving hubby over the last several decades, I am now being more open about our relationship...er...arrangement..er..thing. My letter to Mr Ho Ho Ho himself, although under a pseudo name, appears on my other blog.

I appreciate having the opportunity to write you Merry. I know that even though you get little acknowledgement for the magic of Christmas, you play an integral, equal role in the unfolding of the season. Don't be afraid to stand up and be noticed girlfriend. All the little girls of the world need to know you're there.

Best,

Sue Richards

Tag: menopause